dagger’s take on things

… as we both lie in our bed in the deep of the night. I would stay awake till they stop coming, an indication that you had finally fallen asleep. A fitful sleep, disturbed by dreams and nightmares. But you would wake up, reply to my last message, and the messenging will continue. Sleep was merely a break in our long conversations. The assurances and reminders were links between the days that made them blend seamlessly into one another. That entire term was a long conversation with you, interupted by sleep, classes and the weekends.

I don’t think I have ever shared so much with any one person before in my life, nor have I got to know another person so intimately. You were the first person I see in the day, and the last person at night. We studied and work together. We laugh and cried together. I shared things with you I have never shared with anyone else before. About hopes, dreams, fears and needs. You talked to me about him, God, studies and your life. We had four months to share everything.

Over there, I was never as scared as that moment outside the hospital room, wondering just what in the world was happening to you. It took all my self control not to succumb to a panic attack. I was genuinely outraged at how they treated you. I took delight in every small smile that was coaxed out of you. When you refuse to take off the earrings he gave you despite the infection, I’m not sure I was angry at you for not taking care of yourself, or just so devoted to someone who has not been treating you well.